Man who enjoyed eating knives, now critically ill, says he doesn't want to die

A 42 year old Indian man who said he enjoyed swallowing knives and had swallowed 40 of those knifes is now critically ill but said he doesn't want to die. The man had spent two months swallowing knives.

Critically ill, surgeons had performed an operation on him to remove the knives and the operation was successful.

While doctors cut open the 42 year old man, they found fold able and formidable knives; some knives were swallowed folded and some unfolded. some had even started rusting and some had even broken due to the degree of the rust.

One of the doctor who operated on him said he was nervous, because a little mistake could end his life. The doctor said he had never seen a case like that before, a case where a man said he had urge eating knives. 

The 42 year old father of 2 said he's feeling much better after the operation. He has now apologized to his family for letting them down. He was also grateful to the doctors and staffs of the hospital for saving his life. 

He doesn't what to die, but what was he thinking when he was eating those knives?